Cab Drivers

I could start a new blog titled "My Encounters with Cab Drivers," but I feel like that blog already exists.

While sitting in a car with a complete stranger you can either choose to sit in awkward silence for the duration of your drive or you can use it as an opportunity to meet someone new.

During the 3 1/2 years I've been living in New York, I've taken more cabs than I can remember. It's a safer travel option in the middle of the night and it's the only travel option when late for work or when carrying a ridiculous amount of groceries.

I gave out latkes once on my way to a Chanukah party when the cab driver complimented me on my "amazing smelling food." (Compliments are the easiest way to getting free food from me.) We then continued to have a whole discussion on the stories and customs of Chanukah and how they were similar to some of the customs and traditions of his own culture.

A few weeks later, on my way to a birthday party, my cab driver started telling me about his wife and children. And how his wife loves to dance. And how he thinks shes cheating on him.

He spent the next 20 minutes telling me about how she's also a cab driver and how her phone has been busy every time he tries to call her during the day. When he confronted her about his suspicions, she denied it and told him she was talking to her friends. He stole her phone from her and every time he answered to the unknown or blocked incoming call, the person on the other line immediately hung up the phone.

He asked me if I was aware of another way to trace the call or to find out who it was without going to the phone company with a warrant. I gave a few suggestions but I realized that I'm just not private detective material.

So I tried the therapist approach:

I asked him what it was about their marriage that made him think she'd cheat on him. Or if maybe he was just being paranoid. Or if there was something else going on that would make him think there was someone else.

Turns out I'm not therapist material either.

But then he handed me two phone numbers which he believe to be connected to the mystery caller. I had failed at being a detective and I had failed at being a therapist so I thought it couldn't hurt to try calling the numbers for some sort of clues.

Both numbers hit an automated message usually used for computer-based phone numbers. I didn't think this type of stuff actually happened in real life to real people. I mean I knew it happened, but I had never been in the middle of it. All I wanted was a drama free ride to a birthday party and I somehow got myself involved in a heartbroken cab driver's family drama.

I felt helpless knowing I couldn't help him. I couldn't give him advice as I had never been a situation even close to the one he was currently in. And I couldn't help him track the person on the other line because I lack the skills of a private investigator. I couldn't help him and it felt terrible.

All I could do was pay my cab fare, wish him well and go on my way.

It's these moments that make me grateful for the city I live in. So many strangers and stories and lives I have yet to encounter. And though I know I can't always help everyone, maybe it helps to just listen.

Thomas The Stupid Turtle

I wouldn't call myself "an animal person," not because I hate animals but because I don't particularly care for them.

I'm fine with looking at them and even sharing the occasional petting of random strangers' pets on the street, but I don't think I like them in close proximity to me and I definitely don't like when my boss surprises me with a REAL LIVE TURTLE. IN MY FACE. WHILE I'M ON THE PHONE TRYING TO BE PROFESSIONAL.

Thomas the Turtle

When I told the guy to bring me back "a surprise," I was thinking more along the lines of bringing back a snack. Or a semi useful gift. I didn't think I had to specify because I didn't think a live animal was on the list of "Gifts Appropriate to Surprise Your Employee With."

I will be giving clearer instructions from now on.

But the weird part is that I'm not usually afraid of animals. I don't particularly want to be around them all the time, but I never thought looking at a turtle moving its creepy chubby legs would make me want to vomit. And I didn't either think that the sound of Thomas the Turtle making nose dives back into the water of his tiny aquarium would scare me to tears. (In my defense, I had briefly forgotten there was a live animal in the office with me.)

Miniature SeaWorld in the office

This might have something to do with my hamster I hid in the bathroom of my high school dorm for 4 months, which then died when I left him/her with someone for a weekend (we never knew if it was male or female. It's harder to tell on a hamster than you'd think). And then I cried like 4 tears mourning the only pet I'd ever had*.

*Everyone knows that carnival goldfish don't count as real pets. They don't do any tricks and have a lifespan of 2 days.

Maybe I distance myself from them so I don't get too attached and then heartbroken when they die or go missing for extended periods of time.

Or maybe I'm just more of a human person. I'd prefer spending quality time with beings that can actually TALK to me. I don't appreciate one-sided conversations with creatures that won't be able to give me advice on my life. Or tell me when they're hungry or when they want to go for a walk on their tiny turtle-leashes.

How am I expected to care for a turtle when I can barely remember to eat my own lunch?! I am not cut out for this!